Save My House

I may have mentioned before the problems with the builders working on my house. Well, I say working on my house but sitting in my garden and talking is what I am actually paying them to do. The guy in charge isn’t someone to mess with so it has been hard to sack them. I am guessing that he doesn’t read the site as I don’t think he speaks English or is aware of the existence of the interweb. Anyway, if I sack him then this is what I plan to do.

Get some window treatment ideas. Hold on, have I hit my first problem already? I think I wrote about 3 months ago about getting an attic added to the house. Would you believe that the windows still aren’t fitted and that pigeons are now living in it instead of me? Last week saw an exciting development as the carpenter gave me the windows but then failed to turn up to fit them. The pigeons just laughed at me.

I already bought some nice outdoor patio furniture. The only problem is that my patio is like a dumping ground which has been hit with a bomb and which a particularly messy hippie has been living in for the last 15 years. Still, it’s good to sip a freshly squeezed lemonade while I enjoy the sight of piles of rubble.

Under cabinet lighting? Yeah, right. You having a laugh? The carpenter will probably deliver the cabinets in the year 2018 if the Mayan prophecy doesn’t come true first. Although, maybe I could do something really cutting edge and daring and fit the lights first. Would that make them over lighting cabinets though?

I saw woodcraft furniture mentioned and thought it was time to explain about the carpentry issues I have been having. You see, there is a brilliant system in place here. You give the carpenter 50% of the cash to “buy the wood”. This is clearly a euphemism for “drink a lot”. You go back to his house after a couple of months and discover that there is no money, no wood, no furniture and sometimes no carpenter. You then visit him a lot and make threats which no one really believes. Eventually he turns up one day with a tiny fraction of what you ordered and the whole thing is forgotten over a few drinks and a few laughs. Only the pigeons are upset in the long run and they deserve everything they get.