I have been a bit concerned lately.
Apart from the financial crisis, the imminent global water wars and the pile of dirty dishes lying in the kitchen I am a bit worried that my posts make me look a bit like a sad loser who spends all day trawling the internet looking for strange things to write about.
It is therefore with a light heart but a bit of trepidation that I have decided to turn over a new leaf. Now I am going to spend time doing things likes pump iron (as I believe they call it), rev motorbikes very loudly for no apparent reason and drink poor quality beer straight from the can.
My first step in this bold new course is to get myself a tattoo of course. I can remember the days when seeing someone with a tattoo was a bit of a novelty that made you go “ooh, look at that!” but now it seems that the people who attract the attention are those who don’t have one of these marks on their skin. I have always have a bit of a jungle hankering – call it a Tarzan complex if you must – so a hidden tribal name tattoo looks absolutely ideal to get my look started.
What else? Ah, if I am going to ride a motorbike instead of my bike but still want to carry my possessions I’ll need some biker pocket t shirts won’t I? Can’t be going out on my Harley with my old Star Trek t shirt on, can I?
Next up, I don’t know what Wolverine boots even are but I love the name. If 
they turn out to be those silly, fluffy half boots that are inexplicably popular with women these days then I am going to look pretty silly here. However, as the sort of tough guy I now am I am going to take the chance on them being rough and tumble boots which will look good with leather trousers and the slight scar that the chickenpox left me with a few years ago.
Finally I will end my transformation from computer nerd to hard rocker by getting some demonic acrylic nail designs slapped on my rather dainty hands. With this final touch I will emerge, pale and blinking, into the sunlight of a brave new world.
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