A Poet for a Day

I have never been a big fan of poetry. However, I do like a challenge and a friend recently asked me to come up with some original and interesting poems involving household items or other mundane ideas. I am not sure why he asked me this but I am always happy to oblige strange requests and went straight to work on coming up with some ideas.

I don’t know why Whirlpool water heaters jumped out at me first. I think I might have had an idea about slipping in a rhyme with “beefeaters” but then I got stumped after that. Could I manage to write a witty poem about upgrading the heating services in the Tower of London and keeping the beefeaters from having cold feet? Probably not but “cold feet” does rhyme with “beef eat”, so I reckon a better poet than me could rattle off something like I had imagined but can’t finish off.

What about getintg my inspiration from IKEA Singapore? Hmm, I could start off by saying that since my kitchen is such a bore I grabbed a flight to IKEA Singapore but would I then need to fit in references to models of chairs and cupboards and things? IIKEA use those weird model names like Magnusson and Holfenheim which would be difficult to find rhymes with. Actually, I just checked it out and it seems that there is a logic to their product names. Different products use different naming conventions. For example, their carpets are named after places in Denmark. Now that is something I didn’t know 5 minutes ago.

Where was I before all that IKEA excitement? Ah yes, rapidly running out of ideas is where I was. Trout farming! Eh? That’s right, the Salmoninae family have given me some inspiration. I could write about a man who goes to a trout farm and sees in the multitudes of thrashing fish a perfect metaphor for the empty, unfulfilling life he lives.It would be a transcenendtal moment in his life and he would scream “Trout farming has saved my life / Those beastly fish live a life full of strife”. I think it could be developed into a Hollywood blockbuster with Bruce Willis playing the hero and maybe Eddie Murphy doing the voices of the fish. If any Hollywood moguls are reading (and I am sure they are ) please don’t steal my idea.  Or at least give me a bit part as a cool trout or something.

Well, it looks as though I am running out of chances to get this right. What about flourescent light fixtures? Ok then, I give in. I will never be a poet after all.