Be a Tree

I have always wondered about that exercise you sometimes see drama students doing on the TV. You know the one where they pretend to be a tree? Do they really do this in acting classes? Did Bruce Willis, Angeline Jolie and Vin Diesel start out their acting careeers as oaks. To be fair, Vin hasn’t moved on much from there.

It’s probably time for a change, so what else could aspiring actors try to be instead of trees?

Now class, I want you be basement dehumidifiers. You need to feel as though you are in a dank basement sucking up the dampness. Not everyone could do this and it would really sort out the method actors from the rest who are just wasting time instead of studying something more useful.

I just had a go in my living room at acting out loft conversions and it can be done. Sadly my neighbour just walked past and might have seen me as I was completing the transformation. He already thinks I am loony because one day I tried to kick the ball to my daughter and my slipper came off and kind of flipped over and over before landing in the middle of the street. Still, if he ever organises a slipper gymnastics competition he’ll be sure to call me.

Can you imagine a bunch of budding screen gods and goddesses pretending to be skate sharpening? It could get kind of dangerous if they really got into that and became the sharpened skates. It’s a dangerous business going to acting classes alright.

Wouldn’t it be fun to ask them to become curtain rods? What on earth would they do? Would it be a good idea to grab a curtain at this point or would it be seen as more creative to imagine the curtain? I don’t think I’ll ever get the hang of this acting lark if this is what it is all about. Couldn’t I just use a real curtain rod instead? Life was a lot easier when you only had to become a tree and sway in the wind for a few minutes.