Can I Even Do That?

I am not very good around the house. There, I’ve gone and admitted it at last. You might already have worked it out but if you haven’t then I can reveal that my house is filled with things which don’t work or which are held together with sticky tape. Maybe everyone else’s house is the same but I wish I could find out more things I could do.

What about black mold removal? The mere mention of the word mould (or mold) is enough to get me remembering nasty experiences. My parents’ house had a mould problem when I was a kid and I used to see weird and nasty patterns on the walls when I looked at them. Having said that, there was also a wardrobe which scared me so maybe the problem was in my mind rather than on the fungus covered walls.

I would love to have loft bed plans but I can’t even get up to the blooming loft. The problems came in different stages. Firstly, the carpenter making the ladder disappeared off the face of the Earth. Secondly, I fell off the temporary ladder I was using and landed on top of it, snapping it. Thirdly, I have no idea what to do now and I have suddenly developed a fear of heights.

I really thought that I was going to have to start looking at refrigerator reviews the other day. My wiring suffered a short circuit and I called an electrician. He fixed the problem and then I started getting all hysterical with him and said that the fridge wasn’t working and that I would need to buy a new one or my yoghurts would go bad. He explained that I would need to plug it back in before I could expect it to work.

The good news is that my incompetence isn’t just limited to things I can’t do; it also covers things I can’t get other people to do. I want to put a brick effect finish on my chimney. Just about everyone here has one but no one will tell me where to go to get the material. I asked in a shop yesterday and it turned out they were granite experts who make counter tops for kitchens and who didn’t understand what I wanted.  It really is most baffling and I sometime wonder if I live in a parallel universe to my neighbours.