Hmm, I hope you don’t mind me making a few spelling mistakes today. I am starting to get worried about my personal privacy being invaded so I am typing this from under my bed. There have been so many news items about bugging, surveillance and other intrusions of our personal lives that I decided that it is time to come up with some ideas to keep me safe from prying eyes.
I could always fit some Roman blinds. I was in Rome a couple of years ago as part of my exciting, jetsetting life as an international internet writer. As I was eating my hot dog and wondering if I could afford the underground trip back to my pitiful hostel I looked up at some of the blinds on the houses and thought, “They’re nice”. Great story, eh?
How on earth could hydroponics systems help me retain my valued privacy? Well, I could hold all of my important telephone calls under water and surrounded by sound-muffling aquatic plants. Hang on though, before I invest in a waterproof phone and diving equipment maybe I should consider the fact that I never make any important or secret phone calls.
With a cunning use of wall art stickers I could confuse the people spying on me with the use of satellites. They would think that I am holding a big meetings with lots of people when it is really just me surrounded by sticky images of people. That’ll teach them to spend billions of dollars of my money to spy on me.
With the right sort of front yard landscaping I could possibly, maybe, perhaps fool the spies, eavesdroppers and other people who are keen to find out what I am up to. I could make my house look like an innocous family house in the suburbs instead of the, well, innocous family house in the suburbs which it is.
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