My little girl has been going to her nursery for some time now and comes home excited every day. She barely enters the car before spouting off about how she hit Santiago on the nose (he is a little annoying, to be fair), stole Paul’s banana and wet her trousers again.
Anyway, this got me thinking about what the ideal nursery for such a crazy, hyperactive kid might be. Would it be possible to design something which stops her punching noses and stealing bananas?
Get Her Relaxed
I was reading about West Coast spas when I realised that this could be the answer. Maybe the teacher could give her massages and acupuncture and other kinds of spa treatment which get rid of her stress and leave her kind of chilled out.
Get the Teachers to Relax As Well
To be honest, her teachers look sort of frazzled and I am not sure if they have the energy left to give her a spa massage anymore. They all look as though they really a massage themselves to be fair.
Bring in Mary Poppins
What was that Mary Poppins film all about? I have seen bits of it over the year but it just doesn’t seem to make any sense. A flying nanny and a guy with a dodgy cockney accent? How that movie became such a big success I’ll never know. Anyway, maybe we need to look at hiring weird but able nannies like Mary. I would want to check that their umbrellas are normal before they start the job though.
Strap Em In Tight
If all else fails we might need to resort to strapping all the hyperactive kids into giant seat belts. This might sounds a bit unnecessary (or even, hey, cruel). However, it would be for their own safety as much as anything. Or at least the safety of Santiago and the other kids my daughter punches on a regular basis.
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