It’s the End of the World As We Know It

I clearly remember writing a few months ago about the world ending and, hey, here we still are. It seems that the Mayan calendar…ah, you already know all about that? Well, maybe an asteroid will…oh, ok. Let’s just think about what the end of the world would mean to us.

There would be a lot of unused fiberglass swimming pools about the place. That’s if planet X or Nibiru or whatever it is called didn’t destroy them as well as us. Wouldn’t it be weird to have all those empty swimming pools about? Since the cockroaches would probably survive the disaster they might take up swimming as a hobby I guess.

Wouldn’t it be great if swamp thing ended the world as we know it? I mean, it wouldn’t be all that great that the world ended but at least it would be a recognisable dude who did it rather than some stupid lump of space rock which no 0ne has even seen. Come to think of it, I am not sure I have ever seen the swamp thing either.

I actually have a plan. When the asteroid is about to hit we all need to go into a bounce house. Well, different ones obviously. If we time it right and all bounce up and down at the same time we can cause enough of a shift in the Earth’s axis to avoid Nibiru and live happily ever after on our little old planet. I intend to draw up some instructions for this bouncing and hope that Beyonce and Justin Beiber will be available for the video guides.

Could coach purses be the solution? I don’t know but I don’t want the world to end without finding out what they are. The name alone makes me think that they are old fashioned, bulky purses which ladies carried with them on horse drawn carriages and which Dick Turpin would try and steal off them. I bet I am not far wrong. Come on Nibiru, I am ready now for you to do your worst.