The Jobs of the Future

The future sounds like a scary kind of time, doesn’t it? We’ll probably all need to learn how to deal with robots and handle flying cars.

We’ll probably need to change jobs as well, now that old fashioned stuff like banks, shops and offices won’t exist anymore.  So what will be working in when 2030 comes along?

Since we’ll all be covered in technology like GPS shoes and wifi underpants we will need to be charged up. This means carrying round our own portable AC units, of course. But what happens when you run out of juice and you don’t have your charger with you? Well, we will all be so helpless by then that we need to sit down and wait for a person recharger to come along and juice us up.

When the deers take over the world (as they surely will) we will need resistant plants, deer resistant cars and deer resistant everything else as well. However, when a rampaging horde of bambis take over the local police station or distillery you’ll need to call in the deer brigade to sort them out. These people will be our last line of defence against the evil Cervidae population.

You might use slipcovers for sofas in the year 2013 but in the future you will relax on top of a servile robot couch who transforms into whatever shape and texture you want. But what if the robot breaks down and you are left with nowhere to sit down? For a small fee you can choose to turn your flying car into a temporary sofa by hiring a sofa re-generator. I like the name of this job and it is probably what I will end up doing once the bottom falls out of the Internet and everyone connects directly to each other’s brains.

Will people still buy things in outdoor flea markets? Probably, but these places will be selling things like artificial brains and spaceships. I suppose it’s a lot better than the stretched jumper my wife bought the other day from one. Anyway, the stall holders will still be in a job even if the rest of us aren’t.