Some sort of dodgy superhero movie was on our TV last night. I honestly don’t know what it was about or what it was called as I was half sleeping. However, one of the characters seemed to be able to see in to the future, which must be nice. I am not sure I want to have this power though, so what could I ask the superhero creators for instead?
Perhaps I could ask for the power to suck dirt out of any surface. This might not be all that useful in facing evil villains who can throw trucks at me but, hey, my house would be a lot cleaner. If I found that my superhero exploits weren’t bringing in the cash (superheroes always seem to need day jobs, don’t they?) then I could work on a carpet cleaner rental basis. What would I be called? Dirtsucker Man or Vacuum Boy sound like pretty good names.
I could look to gain the superpower of being able to cook any type of food outdoors on an open flame. Actually, this isn’t a superpower at all but something which just about everyone but me seems to be able to do. However, my barbecues always seem up to end up like some of charred offerings to the gods of beef sausages. If I could use an outdoor fire pit like everyone else then I could be called Barbecue Man and fly to the rescue of any other hapless fool who doesn’t know how to light the fire.
Alternatively, I could be The Curtain Kid, with the uncanny ability to hang curtains in any room. I actually did this in my own house last month and while it took me a couple of hours to get it right I have the makings of a superhero in me. With the right curtain rods and a sidekick called Drape Boy to cash in on the US market I would be unstoppable.
Have you ever wished that Glow Man could turn up at your house and make things glow? I guess I would be handy for things like electricity cuts and glow promotions but the biggest benefit would be that of being able to read a book in bed without turning the lamp on.
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